How Someone Becomes the One
20 July 2022, 15:01

Hollywood movies and love songs have made us want to believe that everyone will meet the one some day, but in reality, the one is shaped by the way you interact with the person you are dating - When you meet someone (or anyone), that’s not the one… until you show them how to treat you.

The most important principle in dating and relationships is positive reinforcement, i.e., when you see your partner doing something you like, you immediately reward that behavior so your partner will want to do that more often in future. The gist is to reward good behaviour and punish bad behavior. 

Example 1: Rewarding Good Behavior

You want your partner to go out more frequently for date nights with you. Next time your partner goes out with you for a date night, you say, “You look so sexy when you are on a date night with me.” From now on, your partner will want to have more date nights with you! 

Example 2: Punishing Bad Behavior

On Friday night, you and your partner go to a friend’s party where your partner flirts with the friend’s neighbor. On your way home, you calmly say this to your partner, “I can’t believe you even did that with their neighbor. It’s such a big turn-off.” Your attitude is totally relaxed, yet your message is absolutely firm, and then you give your partner several days to process what you’ve said without being cold or difficult. Obviously, your partner doesn’t want to turn you off; as a result, your partner has to change their behavior.

That’s exactly how to train your partner properly so that this person will become the one!

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